As none of my close friends write, infact most of
them don’t even read books, I would have
been completely lost if I did not have writing friends (most of my close
writing friends are my blog buddies and crit partners) to discuss my writing
with.
With respects to my close friends (they are
wonderful people, doing exceptionally well in their chosen professions), but
writing advice is something I don’t take from them. They would be at sea if I
were to discuss plot points, character arcs, sub-plots, story arcs, query
letters and exclusives, etc.
It’s only with my writing friends that I can discuss
all things related to writing and publishing. I can freely send them my query
letter, first few pages, synopsis and work on the feedback they send me.
Sometimes I feel, that my close friends look zapped
if I tell them that I am in the midst of writer’s block. For many people, they
feel that a writer’s job is to open a blank page and start typing. Then once a
feature, story or book is complete, it’s sent to the editor. And a writer’s job
ends, atleast where that particular piece is concerned. If only it were so!
When I told a friend that my last manuscript had undergone
several drafts and revisions, her jaw hit the floor. “I thought you had finished writing it,” she
said. “That was revision number 12,” I replied. I watched her blink rapidly,
trying to take in my words. She was under the impression that we send out our
first drafts and the editors at the publishing house twiddle their thumbs, waiting for our submissions to hit their inbox. The moment they read our work,
they sign us on the spot. She had no idea how picky the editors were. She had
never heard of the revision requests they sent to writers.
Another writer would nod at each and everything we
say, cause they have traveled that path and our familiar with what we are
undergoing. Another writer will also give us unbiased and constructive
feedback. If not for my writing buddies (read blog buddies), I would go nuts.
What about you all? Do your close friends understand
your situation? Do they understand your
writing problems? Are you like me dependent on your writing friends for
discussions related to writing and publishing?
The eyes of my friends, mainly male, tend to glaze over as I go over some writing-related issue.
ReplyDeleteBut guys are terrible at listening, so normally when they ask how's the book going, I say good and everyone is happy :)
So agree with you that it's the writer friends who really understand the craziness of writing and trying to get published. You're right that close friends (and family) don't always get it.
ReplyDeleteMy wife is the same way. She -understands-, I guess, but can't really relate as she doesn't even like to read much less write.
ReplyDeleteShe is, though, very supportive so I guess I'm lucky in that respect.
It's nice, though, to be able to talk to people who are in the same boat as you :)
I'm fortunate my wife understand, and that I have both test readers and critique partners. Plus the awesome people here and the IWSG!
ReplyDeleteI think most people understand it's hard to write a good book, but I don't think they understand how hard it is to write a good page or a good sentence. You're right, only a writer would understand.
ReplyDeletemood
Moody Writing
My close friends definitely don't get it at all. Sometimes they're nice and ask me how it's going, but they don't get writing. My writing friends are best for that. And I'm lucky that my family all write too, so I get a lot of support from them as well.
ReplyDeleteThis is all so true and applies exactly to me, with the proviso that I do have one writing friend. That said, though, and as I mainly write poetry, the looks can become quite blank, even at the level of being reminded of the fact. Reading your posts are a great help, even at the motivation level. Thanks for them.
ReplyDeleteIf they are not writers they don't understand us. I know what you mean, Rachna. Not even my family understands this very well. They may think I'm a bit crazy.
ReplyDeleteNo one understands the struggle we go through except other writers.
ReplyDeleteOnly writer friends really get it . . . although my close family has a pretty good idea after they've seen me go through the process several times.
ReplyDeleteI also make a point of telling all the kids in my writing classes that not a single book on the book shelves has ever been a first draft. They don't get to gripe about writing three drafts for class when I've written up to 8 drafts for a single poem, or for my book.
Even my husband, who should know better, thought I was finished with my book at the fifth revision. Ha! That was before one more polish, plus two more revisions for copy editing and formatting, and I self-published!
The sad part is that after seeing me revise so many times, my youngest daughter has no interest in every being "any kind of writer." I just try to remind her that she will practice a particular step hundreds of time before she feels that it's just right.
ReplyDeletetap step . ..ok I'm done now.
ReplyDeleteYou've got to love writing friends. My friends don't understand it either. It's especially hard explaining writing to teenage girls. :)
ReplyDeleteI think most of my non-writer friends get it to an extent, but having that writing group is a great benefit. ;)
ReplyDeleteI encourage my close friends to write so that we can discuss writing. But writing for me and my friends is at an early stage. I hope we will talk about plot, conflict, characterization etc.
ReplyDeleteI encourage my close friends to write so that we can discuss writing. But writing for me and my friends is at an early stage. I hope we will talk about plot, conflict, characterization etc.
ReplyDeleteYour friends don't read? Oh my goodness.
ReplyDeleteNo one I know is aware that I am writing books so when I am stressed about plots and writer's block I have no one to turn to apart from the blogs. These are the people who understand that side of my life.
Friends and family members who don't write just don't get it. They never will and it's not their fault, it's just a different world to what they know. I don't bother talking to them about it because I know it'll be a useless conversation. I save my writing agonies from my writer's meeting and my blogger friends!
ReplyDeleteJai
Different friends share different things. It really takes another writer to get what the writing life and its concerns are all about. Although, I must say, my husband really gets it and is great to share the writing process and questions. He's not a writer, but he's a great reader and appreciates what makes good fiction.
ReplyDeleteMost non-writers think it's interesting to be a writer, but their eyes do tend to glaze over at the details of it. Having writing friends is the best!
ReplyDeleteMy friends at school joke that my future job as an editor can be easily done by spell check. Boy are they ever wrong.
ReplyDeleteI let my father and grandfather read some of my stuff, but neither of them are writers and they always leave far different comments than my writing friends.
I avoid talking about writing with non-writers, because they always think the opposite of what I'm going through and don't understand the craft or the business. I get things off my chest with fellow writers.
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ReplyDeleteAfter having met you, and followed your blog, I have understood why it is indeed essential for writers to belong to writers' groups.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't even have bothered mentioning the copyright on my blog had it not been for your guidance. Thanks, Rachna! :) I'm glad I know you.