This month’s IWSG (Insecure Writers Support Group) post has been pecking
my mind from quite some time. It was a case of to write about it or not.
Finally, I decided to make it this month’s topic.
IWSG is an online group that posts on the first Wednesday of every month.
This awesome and inspiring group was started by Alex Cavanaugh – Author of Amazon
bestsellers: CassaStar, CassaStorm, CassaFire and Dragon of the Stars.
Alex is better known as Ninja Captain in blogland. IWSG is a writers’ hangout where we talk of our writing worries, fears, doubts, insecurities and
anxieties and help, support, advice and encourage each other.
My co-hosts this month are M Pax, Tracy Jo, Patricia Lynne, Feather Stone and Randi Lee.
Today I am going to talk of how some writers make a
nuisance of themselves. This is one of my biggest worries. I hope I don’t make
a nuisance of myself. I have noticed that whenever I get a friend request from
an unknown writer on FB, it’s just to further his or her cause. There is no interest
whatsoever to get to know me as a person. The moment I accept the request,
seeing that we have 10 maybe 15 common friends, I am immediately invited to
like their Author Page or Book Page.
The same thing happens on Twitter. If I follow the
writer who has started following me, I immediately get a Direct Message with
links to their FB pages, free downloads of their books, requests to review
their books on many sites, etc.
I sometimes feel that a few of us writers take this
building a platform thing too seriously to the point of making a nuisance of
ourselves. Imagine meeting a stranger on the road who wants to come home for
tea. I am sure none of us would invite them. But if we were to meet a friend we
would definitely invite them home or even drag them home for tea/coffee.
I look forward to hosting my blog buddies on my
blog, doing their book reviews, tweeting about their book releases, but doing
all this for a complete stranger doesn’t make much sense to me.
None of these writers are interested in getting to
know other writers. They just want a large number of friends and followers. I
just accepted a friend request yesterday from a author who has started tagging
me in his statuses with atleast 100 other writers. I think it’s time for him to
be unfriended because he is genuinely making a nuisance of himself. He will be
the first one to last just 48 hours.
What do you think of such clingy writers who are
hell bent on making a complete nuisance of themselves?
Hi Rachna, thanks for hosting this month.
ReplyDeleteWhen I first started using twitter, what I really liked about it was how people would post interesting articles rather than exposing all their life issues as they do on facebook. But when I started using twitter from a writing perspective I lost nearly all the interesting stuff and instead acquired a list of 'buy my book, buy-my-book, buy-my-book', people. And I just scroll past them, as I'm sure most people do. I hope by the time I want people to buy my book (still in the future for now), I'll have come up with a better way of doing it.
Nowadays, I don't accept friend requests from writers unless I have directly interacted with them in some group, etc. before. I too, have had 'experiences'!
ReplyDeleteDestination Infinity
Hello Rachna, As you might surmise, this problem is not one I experience much in the genealogy world. However, I do get a lot of Twitter followers who are marketing some sort of research product or service. Ho Hum. I don't follow back. Your blog today is making me think about how there is networking and then there's that other networking that feels like SPAM.
ReplyDeleteI know a few writers like that, but thankfully they aren't the majority. I love sharing little chats, helping out promoting, and encouragement. Yet that many as you used as your example is a little too much. Thanks for co-hosting today! :)
ReplyDeleteI agree with you about the PMs upon following. I don't unfollow (usually), but I don't click through either. It's a turn-off.
ReplyDeleteThanks for co-hosting. :)
IWSG #126 until Alex culls the list again.
I've seen a lot of authors do that and it is annoying. Yes, I want to sell books, but I am here for the connections. And that is why I have rules about who I will feature on my blog, and those include not featuring someone I don't know.
ReplyDeleteThanks for co-hosting today!
This is precisely why I loathe facebook! It's just not the way I want to connect with other authors. I have a much greater success rate via Twitter. If your writing is stellar, you won't need to shout out your book promo every five seconds:)
ReplyDeleteHi Rachna. I get that a lot on Twitter too. As soon as I follow I'd get a DM to like them on FB & they'll like you back (not true), a link to their book, etc. I usually just ignore them and haven't unfriend/unfollow anyone yet. Sorry you had to. But I understand that they are trying to promote themselves but doing it that way is getting opposite results mostly. Don't let it get to you too much and thanks for co-hosting.
ReplyDeleteLately I've been very careful of who I accept as a friend on social media. Within the past few months, pictures of porn have been posted on my page and I just about freaked out!!! And I don't like when they post their books on my site either. If I want to promote them I will, but it's rude to just take over someones site. There, I'm done venting too!
ReplyDeleteOMG, I'm with you, so annoyed by this, especially on Twitter... what's up with that, I've had some totally ridiculous direct messages on Twitter I wanted to scream!! How can't that kind of behavior be successful? If nothing else it makes me NOT want to buy their book!!!
ReplyDeleteI hear you loud and clear and can relate. It drives me nuts. I started blogging to connect with people, not be bombarded by "ads". That's why I love having a DVR, I can hit fast forward to avoid it, but not so much on here. I'd much rather read a blog by a writer when that writer isn't all about self promotion.
ReplyDeleteThanks for co-hosting!
Elsie
I feel exactly the same as you! If I accept someone's friend request and they just start pounding me with promo, I immediately defriend them. I also don't friend back people who have a thousand hashtags in their twitter profile--I know what you're doing! Somebody ought to tell these people that relentless promotion does the oppposite of what they're hoping.
ReplyDeleteHi, Rachna,
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree more. It is so annoying. Like you say, if you are friends with the author ... GREAT. But a complete stranger pushing you to do their bidding...
I learned about this during the A-Z challenge a few years back. I had asked for books to feature for my intros.... Funny how at least half the authors never even commented on my blog. EVEN when THEY were featured. For two years in a row this happened and that was one of the reasons I passed on doing the challenge this year.
Sadly, many in our community are very self absorbed. YOU have NOTHING to worry about!
Thankfully the community as a whole is amazing. Thanks to people like Alex who are ALWAYS there to lend a hand to aspiring writers....
What's almost worse is the people on Twitter who will follow you, you then follow them, and then they unfollow you just to get an addition to their numbers. I don't like DMs and usually don't even look at them. I rarely get a DM from someone I actually know. I've unfriended a few people who friended me and then tagged me in something, usually some strange ad for stuff. Marketing is hard, but I feel like adding writer friends and such is more about networking, not about marketing.
ReplyDeleteOy! I hear you. This online thing is about making meaningful connections, not just connecting. Sometimes when I hop on twitter I have a hard time finding things to comment on because it's a bunch of promo. There definitely needs to be a balance.
ReplyDeleteI'm happy to say I haven't experienced that. Well, rarely. When I do, I ignore them. I'm very careful about friend requests and Twitter follows. I want my streams focused on writing--nothing else. The real given away (that I've made a mistake) is--as Crystal says--when I visit their blog or Twitter feed, all I see is promo. Over and over. I leave really quickly.
ReplyDeleteYeah, a lot of people forget the 'social' aspect of social media. I'm always happy to help people out by showcasing their work on my blog, but the being tagged and stuff is annoying. Let me do my thing in peace, thank you. :)
ReplyDeleteI've run into more than a few of those. Also some who tweet or post nothing but ads for their books. I can't believe those behaviors help them sell books.
ReplyDeleteYup, it's all about self-promotion, until it's not. I'm trying to pull back, focus on some new (and challenging) projects.But still, at times, the "promote" voice in my head gets a little loud. Finding a balance is tough.
ReplyDeleteIt's a challenge to wade through the sea of authors to find the ones who really want to connect, but for me, it's part of the writing journey. I have a pretty standard follow back policy, but just because I follow someone doesn't mean I have to stick with them. I've meet many authors through the IWSG who I've become really good Facebook friends with, while others are simply additional Likes that appear on my page (and I'm one of theirs). This isn't a bad situation because, let's be honest, it would be difficult to stay truly connected to every single person we enountered online. But when that additional Like starts annoying me with endless promotions, I have to decide if I'm willing to lose a Like to be rid of that person...I usually am. Thanks for co-hosting.
ReplyDeleteI guess many writers miss the SOCIAL in social media, right? Poor Twitterites, when everyone is shouting BUY ME no one is listening. FB and Twitter worked at first ... now not so much. We have to carve new paths to be discovered. Word of mouth is best -- but people have to talk about more than themselves for that to work. Hang in there. Be authentic and caring, and we will at least make friends ... if not sales. :-)
ReplyDeleteI enjoy the friendly banter with my online acquaintances. I love to host people on my blog. But, yeah, if they don't stop in to thank the people who commented on the post, or they are only throwing their work at me and not taking any time to participate in a friendly exchange, then I'm not very likely to help promote their work. Or read it for that matter.
ReplyDeleteThis is one of my biggest pet peeves. Especially the DMs on Twitter. Honestly I am always tempted to immediately unfollow anyone who does that. I am working on trying to just tweet about things that interest me whether these things are related to my books or not. It seems like that is the best way to enjoy Twitter and get to know other users.
ReplyDeleteWell said, Rachna! I find intrusive self promotion a turn-off. I haven't a book to promote yet, but when I do, I will find a way that isn't a nuisance. Have a good one!
ReplyDeleteI think some of these writers will mellow as they grow more accustomed to the business. Others probably won't, which is unfortunate, because they're ruining it for the rest of us.
ReplyDeleteHi,
ReplyDeleteI so agree with you. I believe we get so tied up in enlarging or expanding our social platforms that we forget that behind those people connections regardless of whether they are FB, Twitter, Scoop It or whatever are real people and we need to get to know them first. We are elbowing our way through the jungle but it doesn't have to be that way.
Excellent point and I hope we will become more sensitive to each other as writers.
Shalom,
Patricia
You tell the truth in your post, Rachna. Too many writers are counting numbers, not developing relationships. I love meeting authors on their blogs and in forums so we can interact. Thanks for co hosting this month!
ReplyDeleteI don't have a newsletter for the same reason. Rachna, there will always be dumb writers who think it's all about them. You aren't one of those, and I doubt you ever will be. Thanks for co-hosting. Thanks for inspiring and making blogland a friendlier place.
ReplyDeleteI don't like the auto-letter thing on facebook and twitter, but I just ignore them usually, The tagging thing for sales . . . ugh. I have had fellow writers tag me in fun posts on facebook - for a humorous meme or things like that - and i don't mind those.
ReplyDeleteThanks for co-hosting!
Those blatant self-promoters will always be around. But don't worry about it too much. You could never be a nuisance, Rachna... it's not in your nature.
ReplyDeleteThank you for co-hosting the IWSG this month!
Tagging someone you don't know well is simply awful! And tagging for promotional purposes...I am shocked when people do that. Yes, this is a good reminder-post. Publishers are bashing us to increase our social media contacts, but it is so important to be courteous. I hope I'm never a nuisance, too, Rachna, as you put it very politely :)
ReplyDeleteSelf-promoters are irritating. I don't mind follow and re-follow on Twitter or even the mention of their books occasionally (As a reader, I am interested to know what's out there), but when that's all they do, it's hideous. I run a separate blog to help promote 'stranger's' books, simply because I know how hard it is especially for self-published writers to spread the word, but there's a difference between mentioning books and full-fledged tidal wave attacks. I try never to be a nuisance and hope no one sees me as such.
ReplyDeleteYou're right, Rachna. Some writers are too encroaching, but that's their desperation talking. Others are just as desperate but shy, so they go to another extreme. They never ask anyone to 'Like' or 'Friend' or anything like that. I'm one of those, and so far, my strategies don't seem to work. I don't ask anyone to 'Like' me, that's true. The result is, not surprisingly, that nobody does. I actually complained about it in my today's post for IWSG. I guess the trick is to find the happy middle, to be pushy but not too much. Right?
ReplyDeleteWhenever I get a DM from someone who I just followed, asking me to check out their books, I immediately think: this is definitely something I'm not going to do to other writers. Thanks for co-hosting this month's IWSG!
ReplyDeleteYou're learning how to weed out the annoying ones and which ones to support. Even the A to Z Challenge seemed like a place of self-promotion for many people.
ReplyDeletePlay off the Page
I get lucky a lot with making new friends on social media, but many times the connections are exactly as you describe them. Knowing this, you will love my guest blogger's post tomorrow -- Alex J. Cavanaugh has some words of wisdom on book marketing that really make sense, so I wish more of those BSP folks would stop by and pay attention.
ReplyDeleteYes, I've been annoyed at times when someone follows me on Twitter, and it's clear they just want to advertise their book or get me to follow back. I really only follow people who look interesting to me, so sometimes they disappear when I don't. On Facebook, there's been more sincerity. At least, I feel there has been. I do get requests to like a page, but I haven't minded that. The request usually comes farther down the road long after the friendship request.
ReplyDeleteI am SO with you on this one. I am now careful about who I "friend" anywhere. Especially on Twitter. I agree it is too annoying and yes, I too, want to sell my novels, but I too, don't want folks to see my name and run in the other direction. Thanks so much for co-hosting today on #IWSG Lisa @ http://www.lisabuiecollard.com
ReplyDeleteThat happened to my on Twitter. After I accepted a friend's request, this guy asked me to read his book. I guess you learn by doing. I read the book and hated it. Now he wants a review? He won't get what he's expecting.
ReplyDeleteI'm a nice person, but can't be pushed too far.
I recently started with Twitter, and yes, all the "me-me-me!" and hard-sell tactics were surprising. I'm starting to feel like Twitter's a real waste of my time. I feel the opposite about Facebook. I've met some great people on Fb and had questions answered and gotten excellent advice. Some people are trying to talk me into Pinterest and Instagram. I can't imagine who has time for ALL of them - yet people do.
ReplyDeleteMarketing a book is all about relationships and networking. There is sharing your work and having friends also share it, and then there is just shallow advertising.
ReplyDeleteI'm the same way. I want to get to know the person. Networking is just the icing. I don't like that automatic direct message that says "Go follow me!". I don't mind the "thanks for following me." and that's it.
ReplyDeleteI'm not a fan of auto replies. It's even worse if all the person is doing is asking me to like their page. Those people are missing the social part of social media. Thanks for co-hosting.
ReplyDeleteI think it can be hard to get auto replies (especially on twitter because I get the most there) because they do have an impersonal feel and often the other person doesn't interact much after that first auto reply. I like meeting new readers, writers, and bloggers- and building relationships is great when it happens. :)
ReplyDelete~Jess
I worry about this. In the past I felt very connected to the blogging community. Same with Twitter. I had real conversations with people and felt like I was getting to know them. Then things changed. I think it started when I lost google reader AND switched computers. For some reason I didn't adjust well to the change.
ReplyDeleteI miss my friends, but life got busy in the interim. I guess the good news is I decided numbers didn't matter any more. So maybe my occasional tweets about books isn't too annoying yet.
Rachna, I love your blunt honesty! <3 I find it annoying too, but it doesn't bother me because my head is an another place altogether. I'm wondering how to market myself without being a nuisance. Being suave, effective, and unforgetful. Is there such a formula?
ReplyDelete♥.•*¨Elizabeth¨*•.♥
Sometimes I think its just the media sites that send the requests automatically. But I agree that if he is sending constant "tags" he really is pushing his books. I don't get the whole, all out sales to other authors campaign. I find myself just ignoring a lot of "invites" in my e-mail. Its frustrating to be bombarded by so many requests all the time.
ReplyDeleteI'm like you, I don't mind helping out on my blog, but with so many inde-pubbed authors publishing a book every month or every other month, I sometimes have to tell authors no, consistently. My blog starts looking like an advertising site. I feel bad turning down launches, cover reveals, and such, but the number of requests just gets overwhelming.
Someday maybe I'll be in the same position of trying to get bloggers to host my book. No getting around the need for advertising, lol.
I experienced that on Twitter. :-) That's why I just linked my blogs with Twitter and that does the posting for me there. I guess they're just excited. But sometimes, yes, they can be a bit pushy. Anyway, there are lots of other writers who would really like to get to know you better and be a real friend. Thanks to IWSG, there are people like that. All the best to you! Have a great month, Rachna!
ReplyDeleteI've ignored and even blocked many writers. I consider the nuisances to be lazy, because instead of trying to get to know future readers--which takes time and effort--they shove everything in people's faces.
ReplyDeleteThat is definitely a pain. I tend to only add someone if we have a lot of friends in common and have interacted somewhere (like my blog). But sometimes they slip through.
ReplyDeleteYes, some writers are very annoying that way. We should set up our profiles etc so that any interested friends/followers can easily find out more about our writing and it's fine to give links if anyone expresses an interest, but we shouldn't force them on people the second we 'meet' them.
ReplyDeleteThis is what I worry about most - even doing a two week blog tour, I worry that I'm getting in people's faces. Marketing should be creative - we're writers, so we should be able to manage that, right?
ReplyDeleteI made several friends through the arenas, but also several who could care less after their promotion and liked. I think it is just the nature of the beast. There are millions of writer and I don't have the time and energy to be friends with them all, but if I can help I can. I am also grateful for those ones who develop into good friends, colleagues, or causal interactions on regular basis. So I only feel that way I guess when I make a lot of effort toward someone, or experience a unique connection somehow and it's not returned. I know how overwhelmed all this still makes me feel.
ReplyDeleteHowever, there are those that go overboard, and "using you" is not acceptable--there should always be some kind of return, because that is the way life works in all areas. You support where you can and you cut where you are being drained. Happy Writing. Good post.
Juneta at Writer's Gambit
Hi Friends, I was a bit worried when I chose this particular topic for my IWSG post. But from all your comments, I have realized that its an issue that writers should seriously think about. Spamming other writers with self-promotional posts can irritate them to the extent that we just go ahead and unfriend or block such writers.
ReplyDeleteWriters should strive to make genuine connections instead of looking for a large number of followers and likes. Its not a numbers game, its about respecting other writers' personal space. When we make genuine connections, other writers are eager to help us during our book promotions as then they want to help us succeed due to the personal connection we have made with them.
Rachhna, great post. I have to delete some writers from Facebook because my Notifications was flooded every single day by their posting their books to every writers forum I belong to. The same books. All day long. Shameless. Unfriend.
ReplyDeleteAnd thanks for co-hosting IWSG!
You know what I think is ironic? I think that people who don't TRY to build a platform are the ones who are most successful at building a platform. Catch-22, right? Social media should be used to connect to writing friends and potential readers, and I think if more writers did that, there wouldn't be any more of those annoying DMs and friend requests!
ReplyDeleteI have mixed emotions about this subject. I do not reach out on FB. All my "friends" requested me. So when I promote my books and other authors' books I like, I don't expect any complaints. LOL They can always unfriend me. But I do understand exactly what you're getting at...I always feel a little used if they don't have something fun to share occasionally with me. ;-)
ReplyDeleteAh yes. The PM/DMs bug the heck out of me. And if they have TrueTwit validation, I immediately unfollow.
ReplyDeleteI'll typically cyber-stalk bloggers I've found that I enjoy, though I don't usually spam them with any promo stuff afterwards. It's mostly because I like learning about people. :) So if you get a Twitter follow from me, it's just because I find you interesting.
The thing writers have to remember is that people are inherently selfish. So if you want to truly reach them, GIVE. Post information they'll find interesting, read their books and review them, offer to help with their blog tours, etc. They will naturally want to learn more about your book. If you spend your life telling everyone they should buy your book, they'll just unfollow you and ignore you. If you show your support for them and create an interesting blog/social media presence, you'll make friends and win people. In fact, I think that's the basic concept of winning friends and influencing people--take an interest in them first!
ReplyDeleteI don't friend many writers on FB because my profile isn't attached to my writing, but on Twitter I see that all the time. It makes me instantly unfollow them. The thing is it's advised not to do those things too. Yet so many people still do it. Stop, please!
ReplyDelete~Patricia Lynne aka Patricia Josephine~
Story Dam
Patricia Lynne, Indie Author
Yes, yes, YES! I'm a bookseller, social media content creator and I co-host author events at an indie bookstore in the San Francisco Bay Area. You have no idea how many independent authors come in and demand my undivided attention while I'm trying to work!
ReplyDeleteI'm an indie author, I'm starting grad school and I work full time. I try to be as supportive as I can, but holy ego Batman!
Pushy Indie Pub Author - Why is my book on the middle shelf and not the top?
Me - Because we alphabetize our books by the authors last name. Your name starts with a G. If I put you with the A's how can we locate and sell your book?
Pushy Indie Pub Author - But I'm here now. Can I just put them on the top shelf with the A's and face the book out?
Me - ...no.
Thank you for co-hosting!
DeleteI hate when I see a seemingly self-centered writer doing self-promotion, because they will just end up being unsuccessful. Who wants to buy a book from a writer that seems so desperate?
ReplyDeleteBecause I am now a Christian (Catholic flavor) I like to follow the Golden Rule that Jesus Christ mentions: 'Do to others what you would have others do to you.' In other words, if you want your own book reviewed, review the books of others. If you want people to read your blog posts and comment, read other people's blogs and comment on the content. Put the needs of others first. I suppose I hope that in time people will like me enough to read my blog, review my book, and 'like' my Facebook page, but even if no one ever does, at least I will feel like I'm becoming a kinder and more unselfish person.
Thank you so much, Rachna, for posting this, and for commenting on my blog.
I've run into more than few of those type of writers. I've unfriended a few as a result. And I try not to be a pest with anyone. I have a couple of groups I'll post to and I try to keep up with my 'friends' on facebook. That was much easier to do before they changed the format. Now, I have to go through my friend list to see what everyone's doing. Twitter and me...same issues but I'm not on twitter that often. Something about the limit of a 140 characters make it hard to get to know anyone.
ReplyDeleteSia McKye Over Coffee
Unfriend those people who are users. I like to support writers the way others have supported me. I have little use for those who use me for their own gain. Thanks for co-hosting this month.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with you, there are right and wrong ways to go about these things.
ReplyDeleteI agree completely. I used to get riled up about authors making a nuisance of themselves, but now I jut ignore them.
ReplyDeleteToday someone sent me a copy of their MS to beta read simply on the basis of the fact that I'd "liked' a post on their blog.
I know it is a lot of pressure-- marketing your book, but you can either be classy about it, like some of Alex, and some of the IWSG members I know, or you can be be a nuisance.
I'm only too happy to promote writers on my blogs, and have done it for dozens of them, but can't get over perfect strangers coming over to ask a favor.
And on twitter, I've stopped following authors unless I 'speak' to them otherwise. Can't be bothered to read my TL flooded with all kinds of promotion.
I agree. I generally ignore the twitter private messages, just glancing through to see if there are any actual messages for me. I rarely accept FB friends I don't know, so I don't have that problem.
ReplyDeleteI keep my Facebook separate from my blog and I also do not accept requests from people I don't know. I can still see how that sort of behavior can be annoying, it sounds like pushy salespeople who will not leave you alone to just browse. That is why I like this blogging community, you can build connections with other writers, and that is much better than the methods of those self-promoters. Thanks for co-hosting the IWSG and visiting my page :)
ReplyDelete