Z is for Zombie

Z is for the zombie feeling that we have after we have spent the better part of the night, either writing, revising, editing or reading a crit partner’s work. I have had many such Zombie feelings and they can be pretty nasty. I look at the world through dazed eyes. My reactions become a bit slow and all I want is my bed and pillow for the next few days.

One night I sat till 2:30 a.m reading my crit partner’s manuscript and making my notes on it for him. The next morning I went for my usual workout at 6:20 a.m.  I could barely keep my eyes open. I practically slept through my morning walk.

What brings on the zombie feeling for you? 

Note: this is my post for the A to Z Challenge. My theme is Emotions and Feelings writers experience. 

P.S. Thanks to all my blog buddies for visiting my blog everyday and leaving such wonderful comments. I appreciate the time and effort each one of you took to make this Challenge so interesting for us by giving us such wonderful themes and interesting posts. 

P.P.S. My next post will be on 7th May for the IWSG.

Y is for Yearning

Y is for Yearning. That deep longing that resides in all our hearts. I yearn to see a hard copy of my books. That’s been a long time desire. Another yearning is to write a series and see the celluloid version of my stories (I know that’s a bit too over optimistic). But one can wish right?

I am sure everyone who ever writes has a basic yearning to see their books in print. And that is absolutely normal. It’s these deep-seated yearnings that make us move closer to both our dreams and goals.

What do you all yearn for? Any deepest writing desire that has not been achieved yet?

Note: this is my post for the A to Z Challenge. My theme is Emotions and Feelings writers experience.

X is for Xcitement

X is for xcitement. I know I am cheating, but there was no emotion starting with the alphabet X. So, I tweaked the spelling a little by dropping off the E.

Shiny New Ideas always xcite us writers. I am a ball of nervous xcitement whenever I start working on any new project. I am like a small child with a shiny new toy.

This xcitement sustains me through the first draft. Good news xcites me. My cheques xcite me (not that they are very big, nevertheless, I am happy with them). When I hear about a new agent or a new publisher I am xcited.

Do you get xcited when you start a new project? Does good news xcite you?

Note: this is my post for the A to Z Challenge. My theme is Emotions and Feelings writers experience.

W is for Wonder

W is for wonder. There is this sense of wonder that fills me when I am world building for my books. Wow. That three alphabet word just makes my heart dance in happiness. During those world building days I have all admiration for myself, for my creative abilities and talent.

I was completely in awe of Hogwarts and its magic.

This sense of wonder is heightened when I receive amazing feedback from crit partners and editors and of course my wonderful readers.

I would love to make this feeling more permanent. But alas, I have no magic formula to do that.

What fills you with a sense of wonder in your writing life?

Note: this is my post for the A to Z Challenge. My theme is Emotions and Feelings writers experience.

V is for Vulnerable

V is for Vulnerable. It’s our state of mind when our books are out in the world. There is this sense of utter vulnerability when I send my entire manuscript to my crit partners. 

This sense intensifies when I sent the MS to an agent last year. And also an editor. Gosh, every single moment there were all kinds of silly thoughts in my head. What must she be thinking? Did she like my story? Did she like my writing style? Does she think I suck as a writer? I drove myself mad with all those crazy worries.

With time these feelings of vulnerability slowly lessen. I am worried about the new books and not my earlier ones. So much time has passed since they were published that I have stopped worrying about them.

Some writers say that they avoid reading reviews. I would not do that but I would not let it affect me (easier said than done).

How do you all tackle that vulnerability when your books are out in the world?

Note: this is my post for the A to Z Challenge. My theme is Emotions and Feelings writers experience.

U is for Unease

U is for Unease. Last year I had such a huge sense of unease when a writing friend of mine who I had sent the synopsis of the first book of my trilogy to, said that the soul part of it reminded her of the Potter Books. After that I was unable to work on that story for days. I did not want anyone to accuse me of copying anything from the Potter books, not even by accident. I have abandoned that story until I can think of ways to make it different and unique.

I know that there will always be something in our books that reminds people of another book they have read. And we writers will just have to learn to live with comparisions. Similarities need not be because one writer has copied another. It could be because they have thought along the same lines.

How do you tackle the unease that happens when people say that your story reminds them of some other story?

Note: this is my post for the A to Z Challenge. My theme is Emotions and Feelings writers experience.

T is for Trust

T is for Trust. Whether our confidence level is high or not, whether we are feeling optimistic or not, one thing is certain, our trust in our ability to tell a story is always humming through our blood.

Deep down every writer trusts his/her ability to write stories that readers will love and create characters that readers will adore. Perhaps, that is the reason we stick on to our writing.

Though at times my confidence and optimism levels touch rock bottom. I trust my ability as a writer to write good stories that will entertain readers.

We trust other writers when we send our books to them for critique and feedback. Sadly, an Indian writer (thank God, she is not my crit partner) and a writing friend thought that my critique of her short story was to put her down and not for the betterment of the story. Her lack of trust hurt me. I had edited her story, rewritten it in places. It won a prize in the competition. She refused to acknowledge my assistance and infact denied it altogether.  

How high is your trust in your ability as a writer? Has someone's lack of trust hurt you?

Note: this is my post for the A to Z Challenge. My theme is Emotions and Feelings writers experience.

S is for Sadness

S is for sadness. Some times for reasons we just can’t identify a strange melancholic feeling creeps up on us and catches us in its grip. Many things make me sad.

When a trilogy I have enjoyed reading ends I feel sad that I won't be meeting the characters again. Tragic endings make me sad. Manuscripts that don’t find a publishing house make me feel sad. All my hard work and no takers. When I see good books losing out to not so good books written by the bigger writers, I feel sad.

 When I read harsh reviews for other writers' books I feel sad for the other writers. When characters I have started liking in books die, I feel sad. If my writing is going slow, I feel a little sad. 

I try to fight the sad feelings all the time. I must be coming across as a very sad person, right. Thankfully, these sad feelings are fleeting and I soon bounce back to my cheerful self.

Are you all accosted by sad feelings in your writing world? What makes you sad? How do you push the sad feelings away?

Note: this is my post for the A to Z Challenge. My theme is Emotions and Feelings writers experience.

R is for Relief

R is for relief. For me there is a huge sense of relief when I reach the end of my story. It’s like I have climbed a long mountain. Nowadays, I have this sense of relief when I complete smaller goals, like if I finish my feature for the newspaper much before the due date or if I finish reading a book and complete the review fast for the paper or if I meet the word count for the day.

One of my favourite thriller writer mentions in the acknowledgement section of every book, that now that she has completed the book she is free to be invited for dinners.

I am sure it must be the same for other writers. But this sense of relief is short-lived. Because with another deadline looming large anxiety starts building up again.

What in your writing world brings on a sense of relief for you? 

Note: this is my post for the A to Z Challenge. My theme is Emotions and Feelings writers experience.

Q is for Quietness

Q is for Quietness. I need a certain quietness around me when I am writing. I often wonder how a few writers can write in coffee-shops or in some public place. If there is any kind of noise I am easily distracted. Actually even my mind has to be quiet. I can never write with an agitated mind or if someone or something is troubling me.

One of my all- time favourite writer says that when he writes he needs a quiet atmosphere. He says that he sits on his bed and writes. If the bed sheet has a print he is distracted and is unable to write. When he is writing, the bed sheets have to be plain white. This is taking the sense of quietness a bit too far.

Even I write on my bed and I am okay with a printed bed sheet. It’s the voices (conversation) that distract me.

Are you very particular about having a feeling of quietness when you sit down to write?

Note: this is my post for the A to Z Challenge. My theme is Emotions and Feelings writers experience.

P is for Passion

P is for passion. The passion every writer feels for stories and books. Writing can never pay all our bills unless we become bestsellers, our books are made into movies or we get a million dollar royalty (all deep-seated desires that every writer has). 

Writing is and will remain a writer’s first passion. If we observe closely we will see that inspite of so many obstacles like full- time jobs, sick family members, our own health issues, time-constraints, we still manage to write. If this is not passion then what is.

A writer said in an interview that she works nine to five. Every night, for four years, she wrote from 10 pm to 2 am. She would take those printouts and read while she was on the treadmill the next morning. That sure is a sign of passion. 

Passion fuels every writer’s heart.

What else other than writing are you passionate about?

Note: this is my post for the A to Z Challenge. My theme is Emotions and Feelings writers experience.

O is for Optimism

O is for optimism. It’s this big O that sustains us. It’s this amazing light that fills our hearts with renewed hope. If not for this wonderful feeling I am sure none of us would write.

A close blog buddy of mine wrote ten books which were rejected time and again. It was her eleventh book that got her an agent. If not for optimism I am sure she would have given up after the third or fourth book.

Another close blog buddy of mine has parted with three agents as they could not sell her books. She is optimistic that she will find the right agent.

Has optimism ever left your side? How have you dealt with those no optimism days?

Note: this is my post for the A to Z Challenge. My theme is Emotions and Feelings writers experience.

N is for Nasty

N is for nasty. They say that inside each human lurks their nasty version/evil version. Most people succumb to their nasty twin by doing wrong things.

We writers only succumb to this evil twin of ours by getting nasty with our characters. When we write our stories our evil/nasty side crops up. But in a healthy way. 

Our nastiness takes the outcome of getting or putting our characters into all kinds of trouble. Or creating a nasty villain in our stories. That’s the sum of our nasty feelings. When that feeling subsides, we write the scene where the character is saved either by his own efforts or external efforts.

We have our own way of getting nasty with people. We put people who irritate us in our stories and either torture them no end or kill them.

Has someone bugged you to the extent of making you nasty towards them? How do you vent your nasty moods? Have you created a nasty villain?

Note: this is my post for the A to Z Challenge. My theme is Emotions and Feelings writers experience.

M is for Madness

M is for Madness. Moments of Madness. Those crazy feelings that every writer undergoes. Those weird feelings that creep up on us, taking us unaware and making us do all kinds of stupid things just to get into the skin of the character.

A writer I admire said in an interview that as the protagonist in her book was an old man who suffered from a dry cough, she would cough in front of the mirror just to hear the sound of that cough and see how her throat feels after the dry cough, so that she could describe it authentically. She said that she must have coughed 100 times. If that is not a Moment of Madness, then what is?

I have my moments of madness. I start several projects with weird characters and then after a few days when the madness subsides I have deserted the project for my faithful companion: the current WIP.

Have you ever tried any such thing all for the sake of getting into the skin of the character?

Note: this is my post for the A to Z Challenge. My theme is Emotions and Feelings writers experience.

L is for Love

L is for Love. Love for the written word. Love for stories and books. How can I forget the love we feel for characters; both the ones we write and the ones other writers create. I get so attached to some characters when I am reading books that I cry when I read their death scenes.

I fell in love with Dumbledore and Dobby in the Potter books. I made the pages wet when both Dumbledore and Dobby died. 

When I read The fault in our stars, I fell in love with both the characters: Hazel Grace Lancaster and Augustus “Gus” Waters. Every time Hazel and Gus suffered I cried.

I feel that it’s my love for my characters that sees me scared to put them in trouble. I also hope that I create characters readers fall in love with and identify with.

Do you have any characters that you love to the sense of completely identifying with them? Do you love your own characters to the point of making things easy for them?

Note: this is my post for the A to Z Challenge. My theme is Emotions and Feelings writers experience.

K is for Kinship

K is for Kinship. We writers feel a sense of kinship when we meet other writers. It’s like we are meeting another kindred spirit or meeting the other half of our souls. We all undergo the same emotions day in and day out. Our journeys, hopes and aspirations are similar. We can discuss books with them without putting them to sleep.

This sense of kinship that we share with other writers makes us eager to help them in any small way we can: by giving them shoutouts on our blogs, by critiquing their query letters, first few pages, and entire manuscripts, by sharing tips and advice with them, by helping them promote their books.

Their success becomes our own and so does their failure. I feel very bad when my critique partners talk about the rejections they have met with. Their rejections hurt as much as my own rejections hurt me.

Don't we all look forward to helping our writing pals? Do you nurse a bruised heart when a critique partner’s book is rejected?

Note: this is my post for the A to Z Challenge. My theme is Emotions and Feelings writers experience.

J is for Joy

J is for Joy. Happily Ever After endings fill us with a sense of Joy. So does reaching the end of each successive draft. For me each draft is celebration time as my Joy multiples. Honestly, with so many things I do (or rather we all do) just getting the time to write can be quite an effort. And managing to reach the end makes me super happy.

Joyous feelings fill our hearts when we hear of our blog buddies, crit partners and friends success. When I heard that my critique partner in New Zealand has got an agent I celebrated with her. There is a sense of achievement (because in our small way we have helped them reach that milestone) when we hear of all these accomplishments.

And seeing a book that you have read in the manuscript stage sit prettily on bookshelves the world over is simply a joyful experience. I was thrilled to see  my name in the acknowledgement section of my crit partner’s book.

What makes you joyful in your writing life?

Note: this is my post for the A to Z Challenge. My theme is Emotions and Feelings writers experience.

I is for Irritation

I is for Irritation. I am sure when I say that distractions irritate us, I am talking on the behalf of all writers. The distractions could be in the form of a phone call, doorbell, pending chores or any other activity that takes us far away from our story, can irritate the hell out of me.

My sister and I had promised our aunt who was visiting Bangalore that we would spend the day with her. In the last week of February, we took her shopping and she treated us to a lovely lunch. I could see the happy expression on her face at spending so much quality time with us (we are her favourites). Though I enjoyed myself a lot, there was also this tiny prickly feeling of irritation that I would not be able to write for so many hours. Finally I manage to shrug off that feeling and gave in to the moment and enjoyed my outing with her.

Whenever I am away from my writing, I feel quite irritated if the activity I am engaged in is not a very useful one. I feel I owe it to my story and characters to spend some time with them rather than just do meaningless window shopping and waste hours of my time.

Do you all feel irritated if you are away from your writing? Do distractions irritate you?

Note: this is my post for the A to Z Challenge. My theme is Emotions and Feelings writers experience.

H is for Hope

H is for Hope. Every time we start writing a new book or work on a new story we fervently hope that it’s the one that will catapult us into the bigger league. That this story will break through the slush pile and be noticed in a big way. That this story will catch the agent’s eye.

When we see other writers’ success, we secretly nurture the seed of hope in our hearts. That we too will make it big soon. It’s this hope that makes us swim through the deep ocean of publishing with the sharks of rejection chasing us all the time.

All of us are high on hope. Hope propels the writing journey and makes us write more and more. For me, whenever I click the send button, I do so with hope, that it’s an acceptance that I will receive in the return mail.

This reminds me about an incident I read. I have forgotten the writer's name. This particular writer autographed one of his classic novels he had written and sent it to his friend. A few months later when the writer visited a second-hand bookstore, he found the autographed book. He bought it and sent it with a second autograph, "this time I hope you will read the book."

What do you hope for in your writing? How would you feel if your autographed book lands up in the second-hand store?

Note: this is my post for the A to Z Challenge. My theme is Emotions and Feelings writers experience.

G is for Gratitude

G is for Gratitude. We writers are indeed grateful creatures. Just getting a few hours in the day to work on our stories and add those so important words to our manuscripts fill us with unending gratitude. Those precious moments when we can type away in solitude, without any worry or chore beckoning us brings with it a smile that is like sunshine on a cloudy day.

My day is made when I get uninterrupted writing time. And when my plotting goes well, I am filled with gratitude. And when it’s topped with some reading time thrown in I am cheerful for days. 

If for some reason I am unable to write or read for many days at a stretch then I tend to get grumpy and grouchy.

Do you feel a sense of gratitude when you have managed to steal some uninterrupted writing time from life? What brings on the gratitude for you when it comes to writing?

Note: this is my post for the A to Z Challenge. My theme is Emotions and Feelings writers experience.

F is for Fear

F is for Fear. A feeling every writer has felt. We writers are accosted with several fears all at once. The fear of not doing justice to our stories. Of not being able to meet deadlines. The fear of our books never getting published and our stories remaining inside our laptops.

Even after we sign a contract, we are filled with fears. These are all new fears that fill a published author’s heart. Fear of our books not selling enough copies and being pulped (sold as ordinary paper after they have been stripped of their covers). Fear of not recovering our advance. Fear of reader rejection. Fear of harsh reviews or unjust criticism. 

Honestly, we writers are brave word warriors who fight daily, even hourly battles with these evil enemies. And after putting down these fears we go on to write stories that makes the readers smile, laugh and cry with our characters.

I have all kinds of writing fears. My main fear is not being able to meet deadlines and my books being pulped. What about you all? What is your worst writing fear?

Note: this is my post for the A to Z Challenge. My theme is Emotions and Feelings writers experience.

E is for Elation

E is for Elation. Acceptance in any form, whether it is a story, poetry, limerick or a haiku that has been short-listed for a competition or has won a prize, makes us feel elated. When my story won the critique's prize in a competition, I was elated for several days. When our books are published, or when we have signed the contract that takes us closer to our dreams, we are elated beyond words.

Sometimes, even when we reach the end of our story, we feel elated. Every draft and revision makes us elated as every writing goal achieved is a milestone. 

I feel elated especially when my world-building is going well and if I have had a good writing day. I also feel elated when my readers connect with my features and stories.

What makes you feel elated? Is it when the writing is going exceptionally well? Or is it when you are inching closer to your publishing dream? Or is it when you win some competition?

Note: this is my post for the A to Z Challenge. My theme is Emotions and Feelings writers experience.

D is for Depression

D is for Depression. Yes, we writers have plunged into the well of depression. Many times. The blue moods hit us and knock us off our feet. Sometimes we stop writing for a few days. 

 Sometimes this sad feeling comes when our writing is not going well. I have been in the writing blues many times, especially when my trilogy plotting was not going well. I started a new story and felt much better. But, fortunately my low feelings last maximum for a few days and then I am back to my bouncy self.

Depression strikes us especially when we are face to face with harsh and cruel rejection. An Indian writer I have read was so depressed with the harsh criticism about his second book that he said in an interview that he would never write again. I am hoping that he changes his mind and writes more books. 

Unhappy ending in books I read make me sad, but that's a fleeting feeling. I thank God for blessing us writers with truckloads of resilience.

Have you been in the writing blues? How do you emerge from the blues? We all would love to know.

Note: this is my post for the A to Z Challenge. My theme is Emotions and Feelings writers experience.

C is for Confidence

C is for Confidence. Every writer can vouch for the fact that their confidence levels fluctuate drastically. Day to day. Even hour to hour.  Our confidence levels perk up when a Shiny New Idea hits us with the force of a tornado.

Our confidence levels are so dependent on external factors like feedback from critique partners, beta readers, editors, reviewers and agents, that many times our confidence has not just been shaken up but also stirred vigorously and thrown in several directions when their words are not favourable.

And after that we poor writers are left to lick our wounds in private, nurse our writing egos and limp back on to the writing path to start afresh.

My confidence level fluctuates like a see-saw. High one moment, very low the next moment.

How do you all handle low confidence days? Actually what shakes your confidence in your writing abilities?

Note: this is my post for the A to Z Challenge. My theme is Emotions and Feelings writers experience.

B is for Boredom

B is for boredom. Yes, we writers do experience boredom, especially when we are reading books that are less than mediocre. Books that have managed to hit the shelves but border on the periphery of dullness bore us to tears.

I recently read a book that had pages (yes, not paragraphs, but pages) of exposition and lots of back-story as well as descriptions as dull as ditch water (this similie was to show you that the writer wrote many such similies in the book). There was so much of telling a reader and not showing the reader that I was bored to tears.

The descriptions were so dull that many descriptions were putting me to sleep. Though boredom crept in big time I had to read the book till the end because I had to review it for the newspaper.

I promised myself that I will try to write books that don’t put my readers to sleep. What about you all? Has any book bored you to tears or made you sleep? How do you manage to read a boring book?

Note: this is my post for the A to Z Challenge. My theme is Emotions and Feelings writers experience.

Today, is also IWSG day. I am combining both the posts. IWSG (Insecure Writer’s Support Group) founded by Ninja Captain Alex Cavanaugh, is a support group for writers, where we talk of our writing insecurities and help and support each other. We post on the first Wednesday of every month.

One of my biggest writing insecurities is fear of boring readers to death. Gosh, that would kill me. I have read so many books where I have died of boredom. I would hate to do that to my readers. I keep telling my crit partners, that when you read my manuscript, wherever you feel bored let me know. Or wherever the pace has slowed down.

Is boring readers with your books a insecurity for you?

A is for Anxiety

A is for Anxiety. A feeling that grips us writers all the time. I can see many of you all nodding in agreement. Anxiety is something I experience 24/7, both as a human and a writer. Anxious thoughts attack me when I think whether I will be able to do justice to the story I have chosen to write.

If a deadline looms large, then it’s time for more anxious thoughts. Will I finish the story/book in time? Will I be able to stick to the synopsis I have sent my editor?

After I have completed the story, then it’s time for more anxious thoughts. Will I get an agent or a publisher? Will my editor like it?

And once the book is out, then its free-fall into the world of anxiety. Will the reviews be kind to me? Will the readers like the story and the characters? Will the books sell? Will I be able to write the next book? I am trying hard to distance myself from those feelings. Reader reaction cannot be controlled by us. So why worry unnecessarily?

Sounds familiar, right? Let me know how you all tackle the demons of anxiety?

Note: this is my post for the A to Z Challenge. My theme is Emotions and Feelings writers experience.